Automobile Horn Pollution vs. The Sound of Silence

Filed in archive Ford , The Law , The Worst Drivers on the Planet , Traffic around the World on July 20, 2010

My son Philip Jr. has some very graphic and unuseable (by his slightly more conservative father) words to describe people who unnecessarily blow their car's horns. Philip complains that "horns have become a stain on society, rather than the harmless safety device for which they were originally intended." And he suggests that in future cars should be programmed so that the horn can only be used five times a year. Frankly, I'm in total agreement.

The problem with horns (or rather, the people who blow them) is that they're most often used as a substitute for brakes. Time after time I've witnessed drivers blasting their horns at someone who inadvertently or carelessly got in their way when braking would have been much simpler and less stressful to both drivers. Instead, the horn blower often has to hit the brakes at the last second to avoid an accident. While the blaring horn would supposedly inform the wayward driver that he or she is an idiot, all it succeeds in doing is to frighten the miscreant and in a few cases set up a scenario that leads to gesticulating, shouting, and even the occasional fist fight. "Brake first, horn second" should be taught at every driving school, with "horn second" meaning only a slight beep after the incident so the other driver becomes aware of his error. I suspect that in most cases it wouldn't be used at all except in near misses.

As my son puts it, "the more times you use your horn the more a) incompetent you are as a driver and b) the more you live up to the word (expletive deleted)." In fact the ear-splitting car horn has become a social nuisance, especially when used to get attention... what Philip Jr. refers to as a "vanity device." Aside from annoying everyone within earshot, this foolish action demonstrates beyond doubt that the operator of the horn button is only a notch more intelligent than those jerks who turn up stereos to launch pad volume levels and then, with windows lowered, demonstrate their awful taste in music to the entire street (even dogs and cats cover their ears). And is it really necessary to use the horn to inform someone you're assigned to pick up at home or storefront that you've arrived? Nine times out of ten they'll see you coming and if not, it's usually safe to wait.

There was a time, well within my memory, when New York City was a cacophony of blasting horns, mostly by impatient cabbies and delivery truck drivers. Absolutely nothing was accomplished since the traffic wasn't going anywhere, anyway. Eventually the authorities began paying attention to the complaints of deafened pedestrians and enacted a law against noise pollution. Critics said it would be unenforceable but in fact, merely proclaiming the existence of such a law was sufficient. Today, you can walk the streets of Manhattan in relative peace with only the occasional "toot" to remind you of the loud old days.

And finally, I'd like to lock up the marketing maniac who decided we can't remotely lock or unlock our cars without being reminded by the horn that we've accomplished what we set out to do. My own car, a 2003 Focus ZX5, does not blow the horn, nor does it wink it's headlights at me. Amazingly, the locks still work as intended. By the way, I use the horn an average of three times a year, well within my son's proposed five-times limit. My secret? The brakes.

[Photo of Antique Brass Car Horn: Philip Powell]